First of all, what is virginity? Many cultures and religions associate virginity with purity and moral values, often defining it as a state of never having engaged in sexual intercourse.

In Maria Valtorta’s visions, Jesus even goes a step further and elevates spiritual virginity above the physical one which I find correct and super interesting:

There are many ways of being a virgin. […] There is wanted virginity, that is the virginity of those who consecrate themselves to the Lord with the ardour of their souls. A beautiful virginity! A sacrifice pleasing to God! But they do not all persist in their purity like lilies which stand upright on their stalks, looking towards Heaven, unaware of the mud on the ground, open to the kisses of God’s sun and His dews.

Many are faithful only in a material way. But they are unfaithful in their thoughts, which regret and wish for what they sacrificed. They are virgins only by half. If their flesh is intact, their hearts are not. Their hearts ferment, boil, exhale fumes of sensuality, the more refined and reproved, the more it is the invention of a mind that caresses, nourishes and continually enlarges the images of satisfactions, illicit even for those who are free, more than illicit for those consecrated to God.

Then you have the hypocrisy of the vow. Its appearance is there, its essence is not. And I tell you that between those who come to Me with their lilies broken by the brutality of a tyrant, and those who come with their lilies materially intact, but covered with the slaver of a sensuality they have caressed and cultivated to fill their hours of solitude, I will call “virgins” the former, and “non virgins” the latter. I will give the former the crown of virgins and a double crown of martyrs, because of their flesh which has been wounded and of their hearts which have been ulcerated by a mutilation they did not want.

Valtorta chapter 47 “Jesus Meets John and James”

Virginity in today’s society

As in western society the days where virginity is lost with marriage seem to be largely over, I sometimes have the impression that, virginity is seen as a stain and symbol of un-lovingness and thus something to get rid-off as soon as possible. 

For example, when I google at what age virgins lose their virginity, I get 17 as a result including references to support articles where 17 year olds, who are still virgins, state that they feel left behind and that they envy their “more experienced” peers.

When I was that age, I do remember reading a youth magazine where youths were asked about their first time along with the color of their hair and their favorite subject in highschool, as if it was the most natural thing that it did already happen. Back then I did feel peer-pressure just by reading that. I too felt left behind. But who are editors of magazines, movies and strangers to suggest what is right for myself and my life?

It takes courage, a lot of self-respect and confidence to go against peer-pressure, to take the time and decide for oneself what is right when it comes to virginity. But why bother?

Virginity and it’s importance for God

In contrast to today’s western society, the Bible draws a clear different picture of virginity and its importance for God. First and foremost, virginity is seen as being not-married, for example here:

“An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit.”

1 Corinthians 7:34

The holiness of marriage is also underlined a few times incl. in the ten commandments where adultery and looking for another’s wife is clearly prohibited.

“Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.”

Hebrews 13:4

Society frequently portrays virginity as a concept tied to personal choices, physical freedom or even empowerment as it is mainly concerning our body who some argue, is ours alone. From the Bible we understand that those ideas are actually not so new. Heathens in the time of Jesus were, same as many today, just doing with their body as they pleased. While God shows us in the Bible why he cares so much. God himself is in us and wants to be a part of us. If we alienate God, we distance ourselves from eternal love and life:

“I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. […] The body, however, is not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.  By his power God raised the Lord from the dead, and he will raise us also. Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.” But whoever is united with the Lord is one with him in spirit. Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.”

1 Corinthians 6:12-20

Further we read, that God wants us to be sanctified and that we should learn to control our body to draw closed to him:

“It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable.”

1 Thessalonians 4:3-4

Thus, virginity, in the biblical sense, and thus for God transcends physicality – it is a heart posture of surrender, discipline, and love. Choosing to preserve one’s virginity is an act of trust in God’s timing and a testament to His place at the center of one’s life. This decision reflects reverence for God’s design for intimacy, where sexual union is reserved for the covenant of marriage, symbolizing the union between Christ and His Church (Ephesians 5:31-32). Ultimately virginity benefits ourselves as it facilitates closeness to God and thus eternal life. 

However not every form of virginity is equally weighted before God as Jesus makes clear in the visions of Maria Valtorta:

“What is the poor enforced virginity of a woman that no man married? Less than nothing. What is the virginity of a woman who wanted to be a virgin to belong to God, but is so in her body and not in her spirit, where she allows alien thoughts to enter and entertains allurements of human thoughts? It is a sham virginity. But still very little. What is the virginity of a cloistered nun who lives only for God? Very much. But it is never the perfect virginity when compared with My Mother’s.”

Maria Valtorta, The Poem of the Man-God, chapter 5  “Birth of the Virgin Mary”

Through this we understand that the ultimate idol for virginity is Mother Mary:

Virginity and mother Mary

When I asked ChatGPT about topics that are not well understood in Christianity it listed the virginity yet motherhood of Mary as one of the key topics. It argues that virgin motherhood is difficult to believe as it is against biological rules. Someone needs to believe in miracles to accept that thought. It would question if a God is worth worshipping if this God is not able to perform miracles. However, reading the respective Bible passage, it becomes clear that also Mary found it hard to believe when the angle initially brought her the message:

“The angel told her,
‘Don’t be afraid, Mary. You have found favor  with God. You will become pregnant, give birth to a son, and name him Jesus. He will be a great man and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his ancestor David.
Your son will be king of Jacob’s people forever, and his kingdom will never end.’

Mary asked the angel, ‘How can this be? I’m a virgin.’

The angel answered her, ‘The Holy Spirit will come to you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. Therefore, the holy child developing inside you will be called the Son of God.
“Elizabeth, your relative, is six months pregnant with a son in her old age. People said she couldn’t have a child. But nothing is impossible for God.‘

Mary answered, ‘I am the Lord’s servant. Let everything you’ve said happen to me.’
Then the angel left her.”

Luke 1:30-38

When looking on the Internet about Mary and her virginity, some pages seem to have doubts that Mary was and stayed a virgin her entire life. When reading the books of Valtorta it becomes clear that Mary chose very early to be a virgin her entire life that she wanted to sacrifice her body and spirit to the Lord. She also stayed a virgin her whole life until her death. She was focusing on serving God with all her heart and love. To underline the importance of this aspect the whole “Gospel of the Man-God” actually starts with this aspect:

“Jesus says: ‘Today write only this. Purity has such a value, that the womb of a creature can contain the Uncontainable One, because She possessed the greatest purity that a creature of God could have.

The Most Holy Trinity descended with Its perfections, inhabited with Its Three Persons, enclosed Its infinity in a small space. But It did not debase Itself by doing so, because the love of the Virgin and the will of God widened this space until they rendered it a Heaven. And the Most Holy Trinity made Itself known by Its characteristics:

The Father, being once again the Creator of the creature, as on the sixth day of Creation, had a real, worthy daughter fashioned to His perfect image. The mark of God was impressed so completely and exactly on Mary, that only in the First-born was it greater. Mary can be called the Second-born of the Father because, owing to the perfection granted to Her and preserved by Her, and to Her dignity of Spouse and Mother of God and Queen of Heaven, She comes second after the Son of the Father and second in His eternal thought, which ab aeterno took delight in Her.

The Son, being also ‘Her Son’, did teach Her, by the mystery of Grace, His truth and wisdom, when He was but an Embryo, growing in Her womb.

The Holy Spirit appeared amongst men, for an anticipated prolonged Pentecost:

Love for ‘Her Whom He loved’, Consolation to men because of the Fruit of Her Womb, Sanctification on account of the Maternity of the Holy One.

God, to reveal Himself to men in the new and complete form, which starts the Redemption era, did not select for His throne a star in the sky, nor the palace of a powerful man. Neither did He want the wings of angels as the base of His feet. He wanted a spotless womb.

Also Eve had been created spotless. But she wanted to become corrupt of her own free will. Mary, Who lived in a corrupt world – Eve was in a pure world – did not wish to violate Her purity, not even with one thought remotely connected with sin. She knew that sin exists. She saw its various and horrible forms and implications. She saw them all, including the most hideous one: deicide. But She knew them solely to expiate them and to be, forever, the Woman who has mercy on sinners and prays for their redemption.”

Maria Valtorta, The Poem of the Man-God, chapter 1  “Introduction”

To summarize, virginity holds contrasting values in modern society and before God. While today’s culture often dismisses virginity as outdated or burdensome, for God it is sacred, emphasizing purity of body and spirit as a testament to devotion and trust in the Lord. Scriptures highlight the body as a temple of the Holy Spirit, with sexual union reserved for marriage as a sacred covenant. Maria Valtorta’s writings elevate Mary as the ultimate model of virginity, whose lifelong purity and devotion made her worthy to bear the Son of God. Virginity, in this context, transcends physicality, symbolizing a heart wholly surrendered to God’s will and design. While it is hard or nearly impossible for regular humans to achieve such holy levels, we can at least strive to reach it. 

I confessed my sins related to virginity (or non-virginity) and was doing a 180 Degree turnaround. Being faithful in deeds and thoughts and following God’s commandments is important to me and super hard sometimes. I am struggling sometimes, however I am willing to take the cross upon me, same as Jesus did. I can encourage you to do the same. God’s door is always open, lay your challenges before him, surrender to his wisdom and let your heart and spirit be touched by his grace and wisdom, Amen.

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P.S.: If after this very long article you are still eager to read more on this subject, here the full passage from the first quote of this article which I find particularly interesting in this context:

“I insist on the value of purity. Chastity is always the source of clear ideas. Virginity refines and then preserves intellectual and emotional sensitiveness, elevating it to such a perfection that only a virgin can experience.

There are many ways of being a virgin. By compulsion, and this applies particularly to women, when no one ever proposed to them. The same should apply to men. But it does not. And that is bad, because only heads of families, with unhealthy minds and often diseased bodies, can be born of youth soiled with lust before time.

There is wanted virginity, that is the virginity of those who consecrate themselves to the Lord with the ardour of their souls. A beautiful virginity! A sacrifice pleasing to God! But they do not all persist in their purity like lilies which stand upright on their stalks, looking towards Heaven, unaware of the mud on the ground, open to the kisses of God’s sun and His dews.

Many are faithful only in a material way. But they are unfaithful in their thoughts, which regret and wish for what they sacrificed. They are virgins only by half. If their flesh is intact, their hearts are not. Their hearts ferment, boil, exhale fumes of sensuality, the more refined and reproved, the more it is the invention of a mind that caresses, nourishes and continually enlarges the images of satisfactions, illicit even for those who are free, more than illicit for those consecrated to God.

Then you have the hypocrisy of the vow. Its appearance is there, its essence is not. And I tell you that between those who come to Me with their lilies broken by the brutality of a tyrant, and those who come with their lilies materially intact, but covered with the slaver of a sensuality they have caressed and cultivated to fill their hours of solitude, I will call “virgins” the former, and “non virgins” the latter. I will give the former the crown of virgins and a double

crown of martyrs, because of their flesh which has been wounded and of their hearts which have been ulcerated by a mutilation they did not want.

The value of purity is such that, as you have seen, the first thing Satan was anxious about, was to deceive Me about impurity. He knows very well that sensual sins dismantle the soul and make it an easy prey to other sins. Satan’s efforts aimed at this capital point, in order to defeat Me.

Bread, hunger, are the material forms for the allegory of appetite, of the appetites that Satan takes advantage of for his own purpose. The food he offered Me to make Me fall intoxicated at his feet is quite a different thing! Greed would have followed, then avarice, power, idolatry, blasphemy and the abjuration of the divine Law. But that was the first step to catch Me. Exactly as he did to injure Adam.

The world sneers at pure people. Those who are guilty of lewdness strike them. John the Baptist is the victim of the lust of an obscene couple. But if there is still some light in the world, this is due to the pure of the world. They are the servants of God, they understand God and repeat God’s words. I said: “Happy the pure in heart, they shall see God.” Also in this world: since the fumes of sensuality do not perturb their hearts, they ‘see’ God, they hear Him, they follow Him and they show Him to other people.”

Maria Valtorta, The Poem of the Man-God, chapter 47 – “Jesus Meets John and James”